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Hello all,

A while back a buddy of mine called me late one night... one of those conversations where you can hear the weight in someone’s voice before they even say the words.

He said, “Man, I don’t get it. My life’s good on paper. I’ve got a job, a family, I work out, I should be fine… but I just feel off. Like I’m on autopilot.”

He wasn’t depressed in the classic sense. He wasn’t crying or stuck in bed, he was just disconnected. Every day looked the same, and even the things that used to excite him started to feel dull.

It reminded me of Johann Hari’s TED Talk, “This Might Be Why You’re Depressed or Anxious.” Hari argues that sometimes, what we call anxiety or depression isn’t a chemical imbalance — it’s a connection imbalance. We’ve lost touch with the things that give us purpose, belonging, and meaning.

My friend didn’t need a motivational speech or to start a new thing. He needed reconnection... to people, to purpose, & what matters most.

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Johann Hari’s TED Talk, “This Might Be Why You’re Depressed or Anxious.

We often treat anxiety and depression like chemical glitches in the brain ... something to fix with a pill or push through with willpower. But what if part of the problem isn’t inside your head… it’s in your life?

Johann Hari’s argues that while biology matters, disconnection — from meaningful work, from others, from values — is often the root of our distress.

And reconnection, not just medication, is often the cure.

What Johann Hari Found in His Research:

Hari spent years interviewing psychologists, neuroscientists, and communities worldwide. His takeaway was clear: our modern lifestyle disconnects us from the things that make us human.

Here are three types of disconnection and what research says about each:

• Disconnection from Meaningful Work

We’re wired for purpose, not just paychecks. When work feels empty, our brains can literally interpret it as a threat - to identity and worth. Don't believe me? just try it out.

Research: Steger et al. (2012) found that employees who find meaning in work report lower depression and higher life satisfaction. Takeaway: Work with purpose energizes. Work without it drains.

• Disconnection from People

Despite constant online connection, loneliness rates are at record highs. You don't need me to tell you this to know this is true. Humans need connection, isolation raises stress hormones like cortisol and lowers serotonin which lead to mental distress.

Research: Holt-Lunstad et al. (2015) found loneliness increases mortality risk by 26%. Takeaway: Friendship isn’t optional for mental health. It’s oxygen.

• Disconnection from Values

When life revolves around achievement, image, or consumption, we drift from what truly fulfills us.

Research: Kasser & Ryan (1996) found that materialistic values correlate with lower well-being and higher anxiety. Takeaway: Purpose-driven goals calm the mind; status-driven goals feed the noise.

This Week's Tool: The “Reconnection Audit”

Inspired by Hari’s framework

Take 10 minutes to reflect using these prompts:

• Meaning: What’s one activity that leaves you energized or proud after doing it? (Do more of that.)
• People: Who makes you feel most like yourself? (Text or call them today.)
• Values: What decision have you been avoiding because it doesn’t fit who you truly are? (Name it.)

Why it works: Self-reflection activates the brain’s default mode network, allowing emotional integration (Immordino-Yang et al., 2012). Reconnecting with people releases oxytocin, which reduces anxiety and strengthens trust (Heinrichs et al., 2009). In short: connection heals chemistry.

Reflection Question: Where are you most disconnected right now ... from meaningful work, real relationships, or your core values? Write one small way you could move toward reconnection this week.

Final Takeaway for the Week

Hari says, “The opposite of depression isn’t happiness, it’s connection.” That means your anxiety isn’t always a malfunction. It might be a signal (even a healthy alarm) telling you something in your life deserves your attention, not your shame.

You don’t need a total life overhaul —> just one act of reconnection.

Have lunch without your phone.

Work on a project that feels yours.

Say what you actually mean instead of what’s expected.

Small acts of reconnection rebuild meaning, one thread at a time.

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— Zach

Mental Health for Men Founder, Clinical therapist
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